Overcoming My Own Brand of Snobbery: Kendall-Jackson Chardonnay

No kidding.

Several years ago, I attended the wedding of two people I didn't know because my friend, Therese, didn't want to drive out to Long Island by herself.  It was a lovely evening, made even better by the father of the bride.

Late into the festivities, the FOB sidled up to the bar, clasped his hand on his buddy's shoulder, and made this boozily earnest confession:

"I gotta lay off the Kendall-Jackson."

It was the best thing I had ever heard.  I immediately vowed that when I write that script for an independent film, that line would be in there somewhere.  I tried not to be obvious about my laughter, so I ended up snarfing my drink, which was a white wine spritzer, and it stung.  (A side note:  For dressier occasions that require heels and/or spanx, I go with spritzers.  They keep me hydrated, and in the very likely event that I spill something on myself, they don't stain.)

"I gotta lay off the Kendall-Jackson" was a line oft-repeated in the ensuing years.  I don't know why I found it so funny.  It's like hearing someone say, "I'm so tired.  I was up all night watching Matlock."  Or, "Geez, will you turn down the Kenny G?  People are trying to relax around here."  Kendall-Jackson is not the sort to lead you astray.  You're not going to go heavy on Kendall-Jackson and wake up in the neighbor's swimming pool on a turtle float.  Even I'm too cool for K-J, I thought.

Fast forward to a year ago, when, through some cosmic alignment of stars and planets, my husband and I were off from work before our kids got home from school.  We decided to celebrate our 20 minutes of free time with a drink at a local restaurant.

I ordered a glass of Chardonnay.  It was perfectly chilled, crisp, citrusy, and smooth.  Maybe I was giddy from the quiet, or maybe it was the wine.  But it was lovely.  I had to ask, "What wine is this?"

"Kendall-Jackson."

Kendall-Jackson?  Kendall-Jackson?  How could this be?  It's so...so...mainstream!  And popular!  And I didn't discover it myself!  I was appalled, and my husband was laughing his ass off.  How could I be so square?

 It turns out I am square, because I dig the Kendall-Jackson Chardonnay.  (I'm square for many other reasons as well.)  It's got a clean taste; not too sweet, not too oaky.  A little lemony.  Nice enough to pair with nothing.  I'm square.  So there.

But too bad I don't actually know the bride or her father, because we could totally hang.